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Category: parenting

9 Tips for Keeping Kids Rooms Clean

This post on keeping kids rooms clean is sponsored by The Good Stuff and Coupons.com.

If you’ve got a whole house to keep clean weekly, you know how just a few good tips can drastically alter your workload. With kids in the house, that cleaning task can sometimes seem insurmountable, but by utilizing these nine tips for keeping rooms clean, you’ll be relaxing with your feet kicked up in a clean house in no time.

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How to Clean Quietly
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Along with these tips, spending a little time making some efficiency and organization changes to your home can also help shorten the time your family spends cleaning your home each week.

Get Your Kids Involved

While sometimes it may be tempting to simply clean the room as you see fit, rather than trying to cajole your junior family members, getting the kids involved from the very beginning is key. After all, it is their room, and getting buy-in from the start will only help down the road.

Giving them ownership over how their room is to be organized can help inspire them to keep the clutter at bay. If nothing else, they will know where you expect their items to be kept when not in use.

Let Them Take the Lead

Instead of trying to make decisions for your kids as far as what stays and what goes, give them the opportunity to share their vision with you. Letting them tell you about what their thoughts allows you to get a window into their world. You can then start to speak their language, giving them the sense that you are there to help.

Everything in its Place

Simply telling kids to “put something away” can imply a negative tone, and it also isn’t a definite instruction. Instead, personalize everything. Give everything in your child’s room a “home,” or place where it will live. When things are out-of-place, asking your kids to put something where it lives is a more positive and fun way of saying “clean up this mess.”

Give Them Control of Their Domain

When clearing the clutter, you may be tempted to interject and force them to hold on to certain items. A special gift, something sentimental, etc. However, having too much stuff in their room can be positively overwhelming for kids. Imagine being asked to keep a room full of stuff you don’t want and keep it organized, and you begin to get the picture. Instead, kids need to be given the ability to say what stays and what goes.

Get On Their Level

As adults, it’s not a problem to organize things wherever we find space. However, that strategy doesn’t always work for smaller people. It’s important for them to be able to access things easily and see where they are at a moment’s glance. That’s why it’s important to start at ground level and work your way up. Having organization spaces close to floor level gives your kids easy access to their things, and it also makes it easier for them to get them put away.

Keep Things Consistent

When your kid gets to school, chances are they are being asked to store their things in their cubby. So, recreate that experience at home with their own in-room cubbies.

Mirroring what happens at school can help reinforce keeping things in their place. If you put them by the door to their room, it also helps create a drop-zone where things can be put as soon as they enter their room, before they even have a chance to clutter.

Make a Game of It

Kids love games and can turn almost anything into a competition. Try to develop a fun routine in regards to cleaning and organizing rooms. A “Clean Room Club,” or counting backwards from ten as ten items are put away can also make the experience of keeping a room clean more fun.

Create Boundaries

Your child’s room is their space inside the home, so it needs to be as functional for them as possible. If the size of their room allows it, you should strive to make separate spaces within that room. There will be a temptation when organizing to move tables to walls and open up as much floor space in the middle of the room as possible. However, that lends itself to clutter.

Show Them the Way

When it comes to finding their way in the world, often children mirror the behavior of their parents. If clutter in your home isn’t a problem confined just to your kids’ rooms, it may be helpful to look in the mirror at some of your own behaviors. Take a good look at how you choose to organize your life, and apply some of the same tips we’ve gone over here to your own space inside the home.

July 27, 2019
A Pre-Teens Guide to Cell Phone Etiquette

This post on pre-teen cell phone etiquette is sponsored by Coupons.com.

So, you’re thinking of getting your pre-teen a cell phone? Read through this cell phone etiquette guide first!

Related Content: Educational Apps for Kids

We were those parents who said we’d never get our kids a cellphone – at least not until they could pay for it themselves.

Then our daughter went to middle school. Life had changed more than I thought it would. There were after school clubs, group projects, and many more friends.

We went through most of the year without a cell phone, but I found her becoming more reclusive, and avoiding joining clubs or even getting together with friends. Perhaps, I thought, it was because her friends had easier ways to communicate with each other and their parents.

After much consideration, we decided to set up my old phone for her use. The hope was that she would find comfort in being able to contact me about after school activities. It would also make working in group projects easier to coordinate. Using an old out-dated phone meant she would also be limited in how she could use it.

When it comes to giving your pre-teen a cell phone though, there are certain rules they should and you should follow.

Mom and Dad have full access to everything on the cell phone

This one is a must. For your kids safety, and your knowledge, you need to know what they are using the phone for. There are many ways to limit what they can use the phone for, but kids have a way of finding new ways to use electronics.

At the end of every day, I take a moment to read through any texts that were sent that day. I also check her call log, and safari tabs.

No deleting phone numbers/messages

I quickly discovered that after each phone call she made or received she would delete the number. We discussed that she needs to leave the call log alone, so I can see who may be calling her. After getting a number of spam calls, she understands that this helps me keep her safe.

She also had no idea that that is what she was doing when she swiped the number away. While I hope she also hasn’t been deleting any text messages, this one is harder to keep tabs on. Discuss with your children the importance of knowing who and what they are texting.

Keep the Cell Phone out of the Bedroom

My number one rule with a pre-teen owning a cell phone is that it must stay out of the bedroom. Conversations behind closed doors, and facetime with friends don’t need to be held in private at this age.

On top of the privacy concern, allowing a phone in the bedroom can really mess with pre-teens body clocks. They may spend many hours up in the night texting friends, playing games, or watching videos. Make it priority from the start to keep electronics out of the bedroom, including tablets.

Set aside a place for all electronics, including Mom and Dad’s phones to be during the night. We bought a multi-use charging station where all electronics go at night. By setting the example

At School, keep it in the locker or turned off in the backpack.

The main reason any pre-teen should have a phone, is to stay in contact with their parents. This means, when they are at school, the phone doesn’t need to be used. In fact, it shouldn’t be used during class. Encourage your pre-teen to either turn their phone off or keep it in their locker

I once texted my daughter to remind her of our after school schedule. She got upset with me because it was during her math class. Turns out, though, it was in her locker the whole time. She was more upset she had missed my text, lol.

Keep Tabs on Data and Internet access.

If your pre-teens cellphone is going to have data and internet access make sure it is set up so you can keep tabs on it. Discuss with your child what uses data, and how much it costs. You don’t want to get a bill at the end of the month with unexpected charges.

Read more about Teens and Cell Phones: What’s a Mom to Do? from The Good Stuff.

May 20, 2019
Kind Notes and Candy Canes to Light Your Community
It doesn’t take much to spread a little cheer around your community. This years Light the World campaign gave us a focus to “Light your community.”

You may also enjoy: Feed the Hungry this Christmas As You Light the World

The idea behind lighting the world is to do things our Savior, Jesus Christ, would have done – that is to serve others with joy. During a time we are celebrating His birth, I can think of no better gift to give.

This year, the campaign took on a new idea and broke it down into 3 areas.
1. Light the World
2. Light Your Community
3. Light Your Family
#3 was the easiest for our family to focus on. I actually got the idea from my sister in law, Renee. She began having her family all pick a name of someone in the family and then spend a week doing secret service for them. So we decided to do the same. It has been a joy watching the kids try to serve each other and us, and I’ve found myself focusing more on my children as individuals who need separate attention.

#2 also was an easy and fun experience for us. Again, Renee inspired and even led this particular experience for us on the Sunday before Christmas. After church we gathered together and with stacks of sticky notes, we wrote kind notes, inspiring messages, and I even made up some cute emoji’s on the bright yellow sticky’s. We then took the older kids and left the notes on cars at the grocery store, along with some candy canes hung on door handles – or given directly to those we found loading up groceries.

#1 however I admit was a bit more difficult, and I admit I didn’t find – or make – the time to do anything to light the world. Ideas encouraged us to learn about a different culture, or volunteer with the local refugee groups. Nothing stuck out as a way for me to truly help though. So I will continue to look throughout 2019 for ways to serve the world beyond my local community. If you have any ideas for me, please leave them in a comment.
December 28, 2018
A Summer Routine to tame the Summer Chaos

Ah, Summer! School’s out, the days of staying up late, sleeping in, vegging on TV, and running around without a care in the world are upon us. This summer routine is sponsored by Red Baron but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

Or so, that’s how I always thought summer should be. Funny thing though, my Mom always kept us to a routine. Chores, set bedtimes, and meals as a family at the same time every day. We could count on exactly what each day would bring, and still found time for wonderful adventures – as long as the chores were done.

Having married young and starting our family shortly after, I didn’t take much time to figure out the adult world before throwing myself right into it. I became horrible at keeping a routine and let the babies rule my world. Well, that first baby is now getting ready for middle school, and I think I’ve finally figured this routine thing out – it only took 5 kids and 12 years.

See, turns out routines are actually really healthy for us. They keep our mind sane and can keep us from feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and like a failure. Routines teach us good habits, and are incredibly beneficial for our kids!

I’m done trying to create a Pinterest perfect summer for my kids. Instead, I am choosing to give them what they need. A routine they can count on, a chance to learn responsibility and respect, and by far the most important – family meals together that will last in their memories.

To ease us into a summer routine – a new concept around our house – I decided it needed to be done in steps. We are in week 5, and the complaints have been minimal, the creativity high, and the overwhelm in the home almost non-existent. Here’s how I did it.

Summer Routine:

Day 1 – Sleep as long as you want. Eat what you want and when you want. Play as much electronics and watch as much TV as your little heart’s desire. Get the idea of a lazy summer taken care of on the first day.

Week 1 – Get up when Mom wakes you. Eat breakfast. Get dressed. Make your bed. Brush your teeth. Brush your hair. Say your morning prayer. We got to calling this the “Morning Routine”.

Week 2 – Complete morning routine. Pick 1 chore. I let the kids decide on the chore. This has got them using their minds to see what needs to be done around our house. If they can’t think of a mom-approved chore, they can grab a job from the chore jar.

Week 3 – Complete morning routine. Pick 1 chore. Complete 2 pages in a workbook. We have a million workbooks that come home from school only partially complete.

Week 4 – Complete morning routine. Pick 1 chore. Complete workbook pages. Read for 30 minutes. If they want to get on electronics at all, they have to hold a book in their hands for at least 30 minutes – preferably reading it.

When the daily routine is complete, the kids have free reign to do what they want. Since we don’t have enough electronics to go around, my ears are often met throughout the afternoon with the whine of boredom from whatever child is left screenless.

So I bought a small backyard pool. It’s so tiny, but man you should have seen the complete joy on these faces when they saw it.

“A pool! A pool! You bought us a pool?!”

I waved my mom badge in the air for all to see. I did indeed. It should have cost $9, but when checking out a $2 discount was applied. You betcha I bought us a small backyard pool.

After the morning routine was complete, they didn’t ask for electronics. They didn’t sleep away the afternoon. And for every penny of that $7 I didn’t have to listen to “I’m bored” for one more minute.

While the kids played in the pool, I grabbed Red Baron Classic Crust Pizza’s from my freezer and got them in the oven – 1 cheese, 1 pepperoni, and 1 supreme. After all, in a family this big, we can’t have any arguing over what style of pizza to cook. Thank goodness Red Baron has 11 different flavors to choose from!

Find your favorite flavor of Red Baron Classic Crust

After a day playing in the sun, while Mark and I get work done around the house, the last thing I want to do is clean up a dinner mess. With pizza, there’s virtually no mess. We don’t bother with paper plates, because Red Baron pizza’s classic crust is not too thin or too thick.

There’s no better way to end a summer day where the kids didn’t complain, chores were finished, and there was no dinner mess to be cleaned up. I sat back with some supreme – this mama likes her pizza loaded – kicked up my feet and read a book while keeping an eye on the kids truly enjoying their summer vacation.

June 26, 2018
How to Take Your Pre-Teen on a Lunch Date

It’s inevitable – with 5 kids, at some point they will all feel like we’ve spent more time with the other kids than with them. So it’s important that we make time to spend one on one with each of them. It doesn’t have to be crazy exciting, or cost and arm and a leg, but making sure they get one on one adult time really helps build their self-worth. I received compensation for this post. All opinions are my own.

First – find a really good excuse. Something like – new shoes! Chloe gets all her shoes as hand me downs from Venice, but truth be told, their feet are very different in shape, and they are almost too close in size to even pass down anymore. After a cleaning out of the shoe closet, and tallying up who had what shoes, it was decided – Chloe would be the lucky recipient of some new shoes.

Second – put the baby down for a nap, and leave Dad with plenty of snacks for the other kids. Then run like the wind! Get out of the house before anyone can ask questions, beg to be brought along, or wake up the baby!

Third – Run your errands. Hey, one on one time doesn’t mean things can’t get done! Chloe and I started our lunch date at the Keen’s children’s shoe store where we bought her a new pair of Keens (we happened to have a gift card that covered all but $4! – score!). We were out of a few necessary groceries as well, so after Keen’s, we made a stop at Kroger.

Finally – End your lunch date with lunch! We headed over to Steak ‘n Shake, because it was a weekend, and Kids Eat Free on the weekends at Steak ‘n Shake. The food is delicious, and unlike other “fast food” joints, if you go inside Steak ‘n Shake they actually seat you and take your order at your table.

It’s important that you go in and dine with your children. For one, the kids eat free promotion only works if you dine in, and it’s also the whole reason you made all these arrangements to get out of the house. While you wait for the delicious food to be brought out, now is a great time to get to know your pre-teen. What do they like to do? Who’s their favorite musician? What’s the name of their best friend?

You may think you know the answers to most of these questions, but make sure you turn it into more conversation. Why do they enjoy that friend so much? What are they doing to be a good friend? Take the time to truly listen to your pre-teen on this lunch date.

I know you thought your lunch date was over, but not quite! Before you leave Steak ‘n Shake, make sure you grab one of their Zagat rated milkshakes to bring home to Dad. Afterall, he did just hang out with the other kids so you could get this one on one time in.

Lunch Date Giveaway

With the Kids Eat Free on the Weekends*, it really makes for a pretty cheap lunch date that you can repeat week after week until you’ve had time with all your kids. However, I want to make that worth even more to you, so grab an entry or two on the Rafflecopter below, and you just might be the lucky winner of a $50 Steak ‘n Shake Gift Card! That’s a lot of lunch dates.

Open to US 18+. Ends 6/29/2018.

*Kids eat free promotion: Must purchase minimum $9 to get a free kids plate.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

June 18, 2018
When Should A Child See A Dentist for the First Time?

When Should A Child See A Dentist For The First Time?

Experts say that kids should go to the dentist by their first birthdays. Good dental care starts early. When kids don’t get the dental care that they need, they may suffer serious consequences. A study published in 2011, in The American Journal of Public Health, showed that poor oral health in children led to academic problems and absences from school. Taking your son or daughter to the dentist near his or her first birthday is one of the most caring and responsible things that you can do as a parent. If you haven’t taken your child to the dentist by age one, take him or her as soon as you can.

How to prepare your child

You may worry about taking a very young child to the dentist. Don’t worry too much. Most dentists have a lot of experience taking care of babies and toddlers. You may get your child excited about what’s going to happen by going to your local library and choosing a children’s book about going to the dentist. Read the story at bedtime. When your child associates a trip to the dentist with something comforting (i.e. you reading a story), he or she will await the visit in a positive frame of mind. Some books about going to the dentist feature characters that kids love, such as Caillou and Dora the Explorer.

How often should your child go?

Your child should see a dentist once every six months. This recommendation comes from The American Association for Pediatric Dentistry. Tartar and plaque buildup by six months and need to be removed by a licensed dentist. When you stick to this sensible schedule, you’ll know that your child is being well taken care of.

Preventing cavities in babies

A popular toothpaste company has some helpful tips for parents who want to minimize or eliminate children’s cavities. The company recommends using a soft baby toothbrush and water to care for an infant’s mouth and any emerging teeth. Another suggestion is to avoid giving baby bottles with sugary drinks to your infant. Sugary drinks trigger tooth decay. Dental caries is a serious issue for babies. However, the New York Times reports that dental caries in infants are not as prevalent as they were in previous years. Parents are paying more attention to the oral health of their babies and young children.

What about older kids?

You may help your child to brush and floss until your little one is old enough to do it by himself or herself. You may also promote good oral health by offering healthy snacks and drinks. Examples of healthy snacks that don’t promote tooth decay include unsweetened peanut butter, fresh fruit, veggies, cheese, and yogurt. Water and milk are the most appropriate drink options for children.

Now that you know when you should take your child to the dentist, as well as how often your son or daughter should go to the dentist, you’ll be ready to take good care of your child’s teeth. The dental health tips shared here will assist you with caring for your child’s teeth at home.

May 2, 2018
4 Fun Ideas to Get Kids Outside

Experts say that children should spend as much as 3 hours a day outside. Meanwhile, most children are actually getting an average of 5-10 minutes a day playing outside. The health benefits of outdoor play are numerous, from better eyesight to decreased stress. Certain studies report that an hour of play outside each day is just as effective for severe ADHD as medication (and it’s side-effect free!)

Related Post: Rainy Day Fun

There are plenty of reasons that kids spend more time indoors now. Sometimes, it’s simply the appeal of video games and computers that keeps them inside. Other times, it’s our own anxiety as parents over things like traffic and pests. It’s true that it’s important to take some safety measures when your child is playing outdoors, from UV protection to talks about stranger danger. However, the payoff is easily worth it.

Children who play outside are more likely to have improved social and problem-solving skills, better balance and spatial intelligence, and better immunity and overall health. Getting natural light leads to better sleep and a healthy supply of Vitamin D. So, what are you waiting for? Get your kids outside!

Here are a few ideas to make it happen:

Craft Tables on the Porch

Do you have a porch, or a deck? If so, you probably usually look at it as something that’s useful for entertaining, or for family meals outside. However, how often do you use it as a play space for your children? A porch is the perfect transition place for activities that could otherwise be indoors. It can especially be a prime spot for potentially messy crafts.

So, maybe it’s time to introduce your children to finger paints, watercolors, or even papier-mache. If they’re a bit older, consider trying out macrame, beading, or toll painting. Introduce a big project, like life-size self-portraits or perhaps a huge treasure map of the backyard. And next time you’re ready for a small upgrade on your home, spruce up the porch to make it a place that both you and your children will love to be.

Children’s Garden Space

Your yard is populated with decorative plants that are meant to be appealing to adults and easy to take care of. However, most of these plants are probably uninteresting to your children. But what if you involved your children in a little bit of gardening themselves? Try out planting some easy-to-maintain vegetables, like runner beans or cherry tomatoes that will be fun for your children to munch. Plant some interesting flowers like snapdragons, or giant sunflowers that grow so fast you can chart their progress from one day to another. Sprinkle some seeds for wildflowers that your children will enjoy collecting in the summer.

Mud

Speaking of getting down into the dirt, when is the last time that your children really sunk their hands down in the dirt? When’s the last time when YOU did? Sometimes our aversion to dirt is completely out of proportion with how convenient it is to clean up afterwards. Children should get dirty! That’s what we have mud rooms for. So, if you have a patch of your yard that’s mostly just dirt, dig some pits and fill them up with water. Let the kids have fun, and get ready to scrub them off later in the bathtub.

If your yard is full of more lawn than mud, then you can still have fun with the hose. This link has some great ideas for water games the kids will enjoy.

Easy Lawn Games

If your children are naturally inclined to certain sports, like soccer or basketball, it’s probably easier to get them outside. And of course, this can be a lifelong love that will pay off in many ways.

However, if your children are young for sports, or just not inclined towards competitive games, then maybe you should try out some lower-impact lawn games. These are usually easy to set up, and can be played with two or even one person. Consider making space for games like badminton, horseshoes, even bocci ball. Check out interesting lawn games like King’s Kub, or cornhole. Not only will they provide hours of entertainment and activity if your kids take a shine to them, but you might even find that you yourself like to have them around.

February 20, 2018
New Moms Guide on How to Save Money

New Moms Guide On How To Save Money

Related Post: Learning to Live Without to Save Money

Maintaining a household budget is difficult enough without throwing a newborn into the mix. New moms looking at the cost of children from their infancy up through adulthood may feel like asking for a refund or trying to find some way to push that baby back up inside where it will not drain their bank account.

Raising your child on a budget is not an impossible task, but it does take planning, forethought, and dedication to do it correctly. A little creativity does not hurt either. Take a look at some of the most helpful tips for new moms on how to save money and still give your adorable little one all that you can afford.

A Quick Money-Saving Guide for New Moms

Learn About Sales Cycles

One of the best things you can do save money is simply knowing when is the best time of day, week, or year to buy certain items. Pay attention to when various items go on sale at your local shops and write them down in a price book.

Do this during your entire pregnancy and by the time you welcome your baby into your life, you will have a thorough understanding of how the sales cycles work in your area and you can pick up all your much-needed supplies like baby clothes when they are at their cheapest.

Make a Grocery List

When shopping for food, clothing, or anything else, always, always, ALWAYS make a list. First, a list prevents you from forgetting anything vital and wasting what precious little time you have going back into the store. Second, when you make a grocery list, you tend to stick to buying what you have listed and avoid purchasing unnecessary things impulsively.

Use the Store Sales to Plan Meals

Look up what items are on sale at your preferred grocery store and build your weekly menu around the store sales. Not only can you get control of your budget and save up to 40% during a single trip by sticking to food on sale, it also takes the some of the pressure off when deciding what to make for dinner. Coming up with meals all of the time can be tiring, but when you plan meals based on store sales, it will narrow down your choices and make deciding what to cook a little less time-consuming.

Do Not Underestimate Coupons

Moms who do not take advantage of every coupon they come across may be missing out on significant savings down the line. Sure $0.25 off does not seem like a lot of money, but when you use 20 of those during a month, you just saved yourself $5 that can go into buying more supplies or starting a college fund for your child. Many stores even offer to match a competitor’s coupons or double the saving on your coupon. You can find more coupons online sometimes that will double or triple the savings from your manufacturer’s coupon.

Use Promotional Codes

Promotional codes function similarly to coupons in that they give you a discount on goods, but generally you only use promotional codes when shopping online. Some will take the code in-store as well. Do a bit of research online before you head to the store to see if you can find a printable promotional code. Check savings forums and other mommy blogs for great recommendations.

Install a Cash Back Application

As more people turn to their smartphones to help them make wise shopping decisions, more and more companies are releasing savings and cash back apps that offer rebates for simply using the application. Although it may seem like a time-consuming progress at first, as you better understand the technique, you can save hundreds of dollars a month.

You simply login to the application and see what rebates are currently available. Once you buy the products available for the rebate, take and upload a photo of your receipt within the application. You end up saving money on your current purchases and can even make some extra cash.

Accept Hand-Me-Downs

Do not think you need to buy every item new. Take advantage of friends or family members with children and accept any hand-me-downs that they offer you. You will be surprised how much money you end up saving on very important items like clothing, toys, books, etc. Even if you do not end up using the item, share it with people in your mommy group or donate them to a local women’s shelter.

Author Charlotte Dunlop: Charlotte is an aspiring writer with a desire to help us improve our day to day lives for the better.

February 13, 2018
Is It Possible We Say No Too Often

Perhaps we say No too often.

As Lincoln walked out of his room trying to belt on his Link The Knight shirt I started to sigh in exasperation. I’d only asked him 5 times in the last hour to please get dressed so we can go to the store. “Why can’t I go in this?” was met with “We don’t go shopping in our pajamas, it’s not appropriate attire.”

I was about to beg him to please go change one more time, when I thought to myself, why? Why not let my 5-year-old enjoy his day feeling like a knight. He’s only little for a little while.

So I caved.

Choose your battles – a phrase I hear quite often and have even said myself. This morning I wondered to myself how many battles were started by me. Do I really need to say no? This was no battle, it was just a little boy wanting to dress up like Link the Knight and go grocery shopping with his Zelda – aka Momma.

A post shared by Adelina Priddis (@adelinapriddis) on Apr 14, 2017 at 7:22am PDT

As I walked through Kroger something happened. We were met with not only smiles and good mornings by all the staff we encountered, but I also saw smiles fleet across the faces of customers. Moms in a hurry out alone for the few minutes they could escape, grandparents reminiscing about their own children, the young adult perhaps thinking about a time in their future and the parent they hope to be.

Lincoln spent a good amount of our time crying because I wouldn’t buy him every toy on the shelf. Sorry bud, they’re just not in the budget today. The Easter Bunny/Santa/Birthday is coming, let’s see what he brings before we buy more toys.

Nope to the batman.

Nope to the overpriced toy cars.

Nope to the random toys hanging in the food aisles.

As he cried over each toy I put back on the shelf, I realized I was so glad I had chosen to say Yes to his outfit of choice. It made no difference to my day. No one was harmed by his choice of clothes, and he was still fully dressed. I would, however, probably say no to underwear on the outside in public.

Is it possible then, that we say No too often when there’s nothing wrong with a Yes?

I think for me it is. My kids deserve more Yes days.

They also deserve to know why I say No when I do. Even if that answer is just “Because I feel strongly about it” or “Because I’m Mom”. I better have an answer for when the answer is No. Because if I don’t have an answer – then the answer could just as easily be Yes.

We got home from the store and the Link the Knight shirt was replaced quickly with a glow in the dark skeleton shirt – the same one he wore yesterday.

And I didn’t care. I just smiled and told him he looked awesome.

January 29, 2018
What Were You Thinking: Inside the Adolescent Brain

As I begin to venture into the preteen and not too distant teenage years, I’m looking for advice and tips just about everywhere. I was given advanced access to What Were You Thinking? Inside the Adolescent Brain.

I use to think parenting was going to be a walk in the park. Come on, the kids are supposed to be little mini me’s right? I turned out pretty good, and figured my kids would too.

What a shock I was in, when I realized I didn’t understand my preteen at all. From mood swings to talents and interests that I don’t possess – our relationship began to be strained. This last year I tried to focus much more on our relationship, and do my best to understand her. I can honestly say that the more time I’ve spent with her, one on one, and the more freedom to make her own decisions despite consequences, the stronger our relationship has become.

Related: How to Have Big Conversations in Little Moments

What Were You Thinking? Inside the Adolescent Brain

In What Were You Thinking? Dina Temple-Raston takes a look at some teens and the astonishing choices they made. From joining to Isis to becoming a computer hacker. She discusses what led them to those choices, what they were thinking when they made the choice, and how it has affected their life since.

Learn more about Season 1 episodes here:

1.BAND OF BROTHERS

Abdullahi Yusuf went from winning Minnesotan high-school football player to ISIS recruit in less than a year. He opens up publicly for the first time on how his search for identity ended up in radicalization. Plus, leading scientists explore why Abdullahi’s brain may have been hard-wired to make these decisions.

2. BEING WORTHY

Ryan Green explains how the thrill of hacking and being considered “elite” prompted him to hijack 77,000 computers at once. And a look into how the adolescent brain’s hunger for the “feel good” chemical, dopamine, drives young people to push boundaries and take risks.

3. AFTER RILEY

Seemingly happy high-schooler Riley Winters killed herself at age 15. It was one of many suicides in Colorado Springs that year, a sharp increase that showed no signs of slowing. In this episode, we travel to Riley’s hometown to talk to friends and family, and find that suicide is more complicated than depression.

4. VIRTUALLY ADDICTED

Hear the private thoughts of Felix Graham, a British teen struggling to redefine himself after quitting the internet games he spent countless hours playing. Plus, we travel to South Korea where the government is providing programs and feedback to young people who are over-dependent on smartphones and internet gaming. And finally, we hear from neuroscientists about how neuroplasticity may make adolescents susceptible to addiction, but also more likely to be able to rewire.

5. YOU’RE NOT ALONE

Dillon Cossey felt isolated and alone… until he turned to the internet to connect with other victims of bullying which led to him poring over sites about school shootings. Not long after, he was arrested. In this episode, we see how chronic bullying can change the adolescent brain and, along with other significant factors, can lead to violence. Also, we hear from Sue Klebold, mother of one of the Columbine High School shooters.

6. IT ISN’T SPIRITUALITY, IT’S NEUROSCIENCE

We visit programs that help adolescents make better choices, including a Moroccan morchidat center that helps counter Islamist radicalization and an NYC high-school teacher focused on “mindful fitness.” Finally, we go deeper into the science of the adolescent brain and the role white matter plays in its evolution.

Listening to the first episode was difficult. It almost seemed that Dina is justifying the choices these teens are making, however, as you listen you find that is not the case. I believe Dina’s desire in this series is to help us understand adolescents better so that we can help them make different and better choices.

Listen to What Were You Thinking?

January 12, 2018